Public Hooting!

Wherein the benefits of public condemnation will be elucidated.

I am of the opinion that our society is fragmenting somewhat. It is not really all that surprising. I mean we have a post-industrial 'would-you-like-fries-with-that' type of culture. Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to work in a factory will know that a factory churns out hundreds of thousands of a single item, but of course, machines break or people aren't quick enough to maintain them aggressively enough, and so as a result, products of a substandard nature begin to fall through the cracks.

Our Western society is a factory. And unlike a factory, our substandard products can breed and multiply. I put it down to the nuclear family model actually. By restricting a child's daily parental model for correct behaviour to the same two adult figures day in day out allows for aberrations in acceptable behaviour to be seen as normal in the vacuum sealed cul-de-sacs and pockets of white-bred suburbia.

I call to the witness stand Reality T.V.!

Don't laugh! I am about to discuss now the greatest cultural taboo of our nation. 'Big Brother'. It's name is enough to drive women to be barren and men to go insane. I live in the colonies, Terra Australis to be exact, and our version of Big Brother recently got axed. And I think that's a shame. Because it was fulfilling and profound entertainment? Hell no! Because it never lived up to it's original promise. Through Big Brother, we were to see ordinary Australian's talking about ordinary things and we as an audience were to be allowed to comment and pass judgement.

I love judgement. I think it's sexy. And Big Brother was proposing to be a gladiatorial ring for the new millennium.

Ave Caesar, we who are about to die salute you!

Alas, this is not what we received. We received tanned, waxed, primped, bleached and enhanced, Ken and Barbies flouncing about doing ridiculous tasks for the pre-teen viewing audience, while all actual real conversation was heavily censored and finally kept from the viewing public's gaze. In the end. There simply wasn't any reality in our reality T.V. But I digress!

The reason I bring up this abomination of our modern era is that Big Brother was a phenomenal place to gaze upon people who simply had fallen through the gaps of social normality. These people did and behaved in ways that they considered to be totally normal, and indeed, they were probably raised in a nuclear family with two consenting adults who let such behaviour seem to be acceptable. Reality T.V. is a smorgas board of social misdemeanours and unacceptable behaviour.

Which brings me to my campaign of public hooting!

Once upon a time, such failures to observe the correct mode of behaviour was an offence of greatest embarrassment. And worthy of public ridicule and collective condemnation.

Observe:

This luscious production is of course from the 1988 film Dangerous Liasons, featuring the phenomenally sexy Glen Close and John Malkovich as well as Uma Thurman and Keanu Reeves (not that Uma and Keanu aren't sexy, anyone who saw The Matrix or Kill Bill would know what I mean!). And it is the most fantastic display of public condemnation I have ever seen captured on film. It's inspirational, people! Feel the wrath of hundreds of people simultaneously hooting in unison!

I bring this up, because public condemnation is something of a foreign occurrence to us hip young modern people of the new millennium. We're a little surprised by all of this pressure exerted by total strangers. Why is this?

Because, in the past, our code of what was acceptable, our rule book for public hooting was the Bible. And it was an oppressive rule book which was body hating, anti-humanitarian, and a completely flawed framework upon which to base a society on from beginning to end (but perhaps that's a post for another day). In response to this we became more liberal, and our society became more of a non-critical society, but I wonder if we threw the baby out with the bath water. Perhaps we should have expunged the nasty oppressive schema for judgement from our hearts and minds, rather than our chance to act upon it.

I propose two things. The first is to live life according to a different set of principals rather than those written in the Bible, -it's boring, fun-hating and so last century, and quite frankly I'd like to think that people would act nicely to one another in the name of social cohesion rather than so they score enough coupons to get past Saint Peter when they bite the big one.

The second is to publicly Hoot, HOOT!, those who do not meet our standards of fair and appropriate behaviour in life. So when it is forty degrees and you are stuck in a queue and the person in front of you is causing a scene because they feel they are a special and unique snow-flake when they are obviously an imbecile, HOOT THEM! When your ex-boyfriend failed to pay your child support payments, HOOT HIM! When the person behind the desk is obviously incompetent and incapable of carrying out their job in a satisfactory nature, HOOT THEM! When you are on a reality T.V. show and find yourself victim to sexual assault HOOT THE PERPETRATORS! Exert public pressure and lets try and maintain some standards of behaviour! Tap your fan against the balustrade and hoot to your hear'ts content. Get some friends together and get them to hoot together. Trust me, there can be nothing more concerning for anyone than to be publicly and unexpectedly heckled through the medium of a well timed Hoot!

This Post is an invitation to join me in public hooting. It is also and introduction to 'The Gallery of Public Hooting' which will consist of people who need to be publicly hooted for various of transgressions against being a decent person.

AND LET THE HOOTING BEGIN!




Public Hooting, Big Brother, Dangerous Liasons, Peer Pressure, Social pressure, public condemnation, anti-christian sentiment, reality t.v., social criticism, John Malkovich, Glenn Close, Keanu Reeves, Uma Thurman, Kill Bill, The Matrix, society, eitheenth century, pagan, decency, betterment of society,