One Mad March Hare!

Wherein the origins of Easter are discussed and the schizoid mentality of Terra Australis is revealed.

I hate Easter.

I think I hate it more than I hate Christmas.

I'm not a fun hater. Really I am not. I enjoy festivals. But Easter and Christmas remind me too much of everything I hate about popular modern Australian culture.

Make no mistake, Terra Australis is a godless nation. It's true, read our Census statistics, one third of our nation are atheists! And only 64% are actually Christian. And of course, we have in our constitution no mention of a state religion. And yet, we have not one but two public holidays devoted to "Christian" holidays. Now, I would never advocate the loss of a public holiday, (that would be unaustralian) but indeed, why are we meting public holidays for two thirds of our nations religious personages but not looking at other religious days as well.

For instance, why are we not celebrating Eid al-Fitr, or likewise why not Hanukkah? We are a nation that, as much as our older generations don't like to admit it, resides in the Asian-pacific region, so why not celebrate Vesak or Ulambana like the Buddhists do, or Holi and Diwali like Hindu's do? Or, (god's forbid), how about we actually ask our indigenous people if they have any local special times and when they are and can we do something to help honour the land? But no, we have two holidays set aside for the birth and death of Christ, who is worshipped and believed in by only two thirds of the state.

So my question is, what exactly is the other third of Terra Australis doing at this time?

Now, displays of public drunkenness on a public holiday are a national pastime, but I see a lot more than two thirds of the nation buying into the whole 'Easter hype.' And let's not even begin to discuss how many people buy into the whole 'Christmas hype.' You see, I think celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is a fine way to spend a long weekend. Fabulous....if you're Christian.

But I am not Christian. I'm of the race that sings under torture. I am a heathen, a pagan, I worship the old gods if you will. And I am beginning to get a little bit narky at how difficult my life is because of it.

The first thing is the weird looks, like I must be a simpleton because of my religion. "Oh my, he actually believes in pagan gods." Well excuse me for believing that my ancestors happened to have the right idea for many thousands of years before some foreign dude in Jerusalem happens to die spectacularly. Similarly I am annoyed that no one says "Oh my god they actually believe that Christ was a real person who died and was resurrected."

The second thing is that every time you celebrate a Christian festival you adhere to pagan customs. -badly. Don't believe me? Then you might want to stop munching on eggs for Easter and expunge the rabbit from your cultural consciousness. Similarly you want to avoid using a Christmas tree or having a yule log for Christmas. But let's stick to Easter.

For you see Easter was, in essence a religious PAGAN festival devoted to celebrating Eostre, the Saxon mother goddess of fertility. And guess what, she is associated with Hares. But there are a whole host of European and Middle Eastern celebrations at this time of year devoted to varying fertility goddesses. And an egg is (surely you're seeing the pattern here already) a symbol of fertility. So as you can see Easter is a pagan festival. But why is Christ's death celebrated on this time? Well it's certainly not because he died on this date. After all, Easter changes depending on when the first full moon after the equinox is (nothing pagan with that!). Well, as some of you know, Christianity spent over a thousand years in a prolonged marketing campaign. And it was brutal.

If a pagan population had a popular holiday, chances are a Christian holiday would be grafted over the top. Christmas (Yule) for instance is now celebrated as the birth of Christ, despite the nativity story taking place at a time of the year when the shepherds are sleeping in the fields watching their flocks (so spring or summer). But Christ is (according to Christians) a light that illuminates the darkness, and what better time to celebrate the birth of such a figure than in the darkest time of year and look, see how it fits perfectly with all your pagan customs. Oh wow! What a coincidence, so you can stop leaving out your apples to Slepnir and Odin. Let me introduce you to Saint Nicholas...

But the Easter graft is a lot more aggressive. It doesn't coincide well at all with the pagan holiday at all. Fluffy hares, birds, bees, flowers, eggs, fertility, life, BLOODY DYING MAN ON A CROSS! -Sort of brings the tone of the holiday down a little doesn't it? And that's another reason I think I hate Easter more. Because that response is exactly what was hoped for by the first Christians. By celebrating something so sombre at a time of such frivolity, they hoped to a) bring the tone of the holiday down, and b) make the Christians feel superior in their sombre piety. It's shock tactics on a grand scale. And it's not pretty.

None the less, if I were Christian I would be very glad to be going to mass, and performing other Easter customs. But I wouldn't be doing the pagan customs, because I wouldn't be pagan...oh, dear. It seems that most Christians are a little oblivious to the inherent hypocrisy of their holiday. Oh dear. But then, who thought the Christians could be guilty of hypocrisy?

But luckily for me, I am not a Christian, I'm a pagan. So I'll just celebrate the fun pagan part of the festival. But I have one more problem. You see, as I mentioned above. I live in Terra Australis. That means I would need to travel several thousand miles to celebrate the spring festivals during spring. We are in the grip of Autumn. It's harvest time. ...And it's getting cold. Likewise, I gasp in unadulterated bewilderment when I see people with spray on snow adorning their windows and frosty the snow men hanging from fake evergreen pines in thirty-forty plus degree heat! (That's Celsius mark you).

And this brings me to my current frustrations. As a parent of two little boys, I find myself fighting an enormous tide of social pressure which is insidious. Christmas invades my home. Easter cards come home from school. We do what we can to rename Christmas 'Midsummer', but it is a constant and unending battle. And the day Christmas is over, I see the eggs getting displayed for Easter!

As a teacher I tried to explain the origins of Easter and Christmas to my class of thirteen year olds. And I was met with blank stares. Our conversation went something like this:

"So you don't celebrate Christmas?"
"No. No I don't."
"But wont your kids miss out?"
"No. No they wont."
"But they wont get presents from Santa Clause?"
"No. No they wont."
"So they'll miss out?"
"No, they will get special presents from Arawn and the Ancestors at Yule, in winter. And unlike Santa Clause, at no point will we need to explain that Arawn is not real."
"But they won't get presents from Santa?"
"That's right."
"So they'll miss out?"
"You know, my kids get four times the festivals and special days than you get."
"But they don't get Christmas?..."
(This conversation went on like this for an extremely long time.)

But what really concerns me is the one third of Terra Australis who do not prescribe to the Christian viewpoint, who nonetheless celebrate pagan customs for the wrong time of the year. There is just something inherently unearthy and unaccepting of the land beneath our feet about a culture that refuses to acknowledge the seasonal changes and conditions in its national holidays. We are constantly chest-slapping and declaring that we are a 'land of eternal Summer', and yet here we are pretending its Midwinter year in year out, roasting hams in forty degree heat. Well excuse me if I refuse to play make-believe, excuse me if I insist on a holiday that has meaning to me both spiritually and physically. And excuse me if I refuse to accept the role of marginalised nutter.

Because I'm not the one who is oblivious to the customs I perform.

Because I'm not the one who is in denial about our weather outside.




Easter, Christmas, Yule, Easter, Hares, Fertility, Rabbits, Easter Bunny, Bunnies, Easter Bunnies, Eggs, The origins of Easter, The Origins of Yule, The Pagan origins of Easter, Pagan holidays, Chocolate eggs, Midsummer, Midwinter, Summer Solstice, Vernal Equinox, Autumn Equinox, social criticism, pagan parenting, social pressure, anti-christian, christian, social ostracism, Australian holidays, Australian religion, Hanukkah, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Indigenous, festivals, March Hare