The New Face of Easter

Wherein a tale of pagan revelry and the triumph of meaning amidst a sea of pointless consumption is recounted.

The new face of Easter

Greetings all hedonists, decadents, and anarchists all!

During a previous post regarding the true meaning of Easter I regaled you all with irritations with our current Christian/popularist consumer culture and how it pains me as a pagan living in Terra Australis.

I was, as you may recall, dear reader, greatly frustrated due to the fact that I was given the option of either a) practising a Christian festival, b) practising a consumerist festival with pagan roots that was, alas, totally misaligned with our seasonal reality, or c) do nothing at all.

Well my previous policy on such occasions has been to sit very still and hope the behemoth fails to notice my presence before lumbering on and catching some other helpless prey in its cash guzzling fangs. In short, my wife and I usually pick option c).

Alas, while this is a fine strategy for a young, hip, twenty-something couple of the new millennium, for a couple with two children under the age of five, it is becoming increasingly obvious that such old strategies no longer will work. Why? Because of social pressures. Pressures at school, pressures with family. -PRESSURES!

I mentioned in a previous post how Easter and Christmas has invaded our home now. And indeed this is the case this year. Presents of eggs arrived in the post for the children. Cards came home in the shape of Easter eggs, and it became obvious to me how right Edmund Burke was when he [sort of] said: The only thing necessary for the triumph of default Christian /consumerist culture is for good pagans to do nothing.

It was becoming obvious that by not celebrating anything, our children would feel like they were missing out on something, and that they could in later years come to hate paganism for marginalising them so much. -Not that they didn't have more festivals than most children, but they're not the same festivals that the other children would observe, and let us not under-estimate the drive in children to be "normal".

So we made up a festival.

Don't get me wrong, we didn't just pull a fake festival out of our heathen-arses. But neither were the methods of celebrating related word for word in the ancient almanacs and tomes of folk-lore.

There is a lot of concern and pressure in the pagan world in regards to being traditional. Much is made in regards to how legitimately one practises their religious observances etc. I think its all a bit of cultural cringe response to some of the less than salubrious origins of paganism in the 20th century. But it has resulted in a sense of cultural puritanism in later years. And as a result, people can become a bogged down in their ways. And trust me, there is nothing more silly than celebrating Midsummer in the middle of winter. Watching a bunch of people rugged up to the eye-balls while consuming ice-cold lemonades and ice-creams is enough to make anyone realise that for an earth-worshipping religion to survive it must adapt to meet new challenges.

A lot has been said on other blogs about balancing a sense of traditionalism with organic evolution to meet new environmental needs especially in regards to immigrating to a new land. Hinhan's Lodge is one recent example. But I would add to that, in order to be successful, a religion not only needs to adapt in order to be cohesive with the environment of it's practitioners, but the needs of the practitioners as well.

And we practitioners had a need. And that need was a public holiday where hundreds of children were stuffing their faces with chocolate and having fun with a rabbit that doesn't exist while our children were not. And I don't know about you, but I could NOT stand there and allow my religion to be negatively compared to Christianity! We needed to have a pagan equivalent which was on par with what other children had, if not better.

Enter the Mabsant. A regional party or festivity practised in Wales for varying reasons, usually celebrating a village patron saint or something which became so licentious and bawdy that they were killed off by the church by the 1850's. Of course, as we practise a form of Welsh pagan-reconstruction this was perfect for our needs, especially considering that loads of 'saints' in the Brythonic nations are not true canonical saints and were simply Christian overlays to whatever local dwelling land-spirit/deity was revered there previously. It's like seeing Hercules wearing a Jesus disguise. So we had a name for what we were going to practise. Autumn Mabsant.

So my wife and I began with looking at what was important with Easter from our own childhoods. And this is what we came up with:

Chocolate
Egg hunt

Ummm.... nope that was it. That was all we could remember of being great about Easter in our childhoods, vast amounts of chocolate and finding it hidden around the yard.

So no matter what we found in the folklore books, we needed to include chocolate and a hunt. Thanks to the Internet we found acorn shaped chocolate molds. So there was our autumnal equivalent to Easter eggs.

But we couldn't have a party based around consuming chocolate. Because that would be totally gross and superficial. Wouldn't it?...

Well, I think it would be gross and superficial, so we kept hunting. And once again, the Internet came to our rescue.

I don't know if anyone else remembers what it was like being pagan twenty years ago, or even being pagan five years ago. But the Internet has been fabulous for paganism in regards to this one thing if nothing else:

The distribution and availability of knowledge and the public forum in order to critique or review critiques of said knowledge.

Does anyone else remember Douglas Monroe and his ubiquitous The 21 Lessons of Merlin? His ghastly re-interpretation of Iolo Morganwg material for a neo-pagan market could masquerade as 'legitimate Druidry' for years in the 1990's. But in today's cyber-networked world such a text would last for less than five minutes before a welsh speaker a folklorist and a farmer all proclaimed it as a load of American tosh that had no resemblance to Druidry in Britain, neo druidry or otherwise. And in less than ten minutes you would have a bevy of under-age boys making some very unflattering comments regarding the author's legal standing in regards to certain age of consent laws and the whole affair would be a debacle quicker than you could say 'New Mexico'.

Similarly, on the other side of the coin, one would have to travel for hours to get to an interstate library in order to find an out-of-date book of folklore that was pre-Gardner and pre-neo-paganism. And, because it is Welsh folklore that we're concerned with, it would be phenomenally difficult to find such books actually written in English. (alas we denizens of Terra Australis are revoltingly mono-lingual. I think it has to do with the tyranny of distance from, well....from the rest of the ENTIRE world!) And then once you had such a book, you would either be forced to write down as many notes as you could, or photocopy the whole book at much expense,as borrowing it and taking it over state lines only having to return it would be a logistical nightmare.

But in today's world, a hoax is defrauded in a blink of an eye, and an old genuine text of folklore and customs is translated and published into an e-text and distributed across the world in a similar time. How fabulous!

And so my wife and I did indeed turn to this fabulous new tool and consult the old sources regarding to Autumn festivals. And there we found Michaelmas. Now Michaelmas is basically a Christian feast day. But it appeared that the majority of the festival was less about the Saint and more about the celebration of Autumn. Great! So without further ado, we took their Christian festival, and in the spirit of the great millennium of Christian aggressive marketing tactics, we grafted our pagan festival over the top! In Wales it was the custom to eat roast Goose. Alas, no Geese for sale down here in Lamb Beef Pork or Fish land, but we did find a duck tucked in the back of a refrigerator in the supermarket.

And then we found it! What was to become the new face of Easter. -Sorry, Autumn Mabsant. It was an account of how an effigy was burnt of a pirate who terrorized the coast land for some years. Now, this effigy was burnt in Spring. And it's deeper meaning was unclear. But usually with such things as these, there tends to be a deeper pagan meaning. So we hunted around. Alas, nothing. But we did find another effigy burning festival held at Autumn a couple of counties over called the 'Burning of the Bartle'. Who is apparently another outlaw who's death is re-enacted with much frivolity.

But of course, who can forget our most famous burning outlaw effigy: Guy Fawkes, burnt on November the 5th.

"Remember, Remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason and plot. I see no reason, the gunpowder treason should be forgot."

What was interesting is that this effigy, that is called a Bartle in some parts is made up of the husks and finished scraps of the old harvest.

Which was perfect! For we had recently had a Harvest festival and now had many bushels of wheat and oat husks. So we made an effigy. He was filled with autumn leaves and pine needles and husks and rinds. And we called him Bartle and to us he was the spirit of the old year that was coming to an end. (Because All Hallows is the beginning of the New Year and in Terra Australis that happens in May) We had a feast of duck and Bartle sat at the table and received his own morsel. And then in an act of purification and libation to the spirits of the land we sent him back into the otherworlds with his food by setting him on fire whilst we drank cider and enjoyed the blaze.

Now, was it traditional? No. It was however stitched together from a variety of traditional sources. But we make no attempt to claim that it was an ancient rite of much antiquity.

Was it meaningful? Infinitely so, in fact I found it meshed very well with our current festivals very nicely and brought new complimentary elements to them.

Did it address a need? Absolutely the children had a blast! And they didn't even give Easter a second thought. And (when they are older) and the other children ask: "Did you get any Easter eggs?", they can say "No but we had a bonfire and chocolate acorns and we burnt a scarecrow who grew up from our harvest." Yes its unusual, but it's gotta be a lot more fun than what the others are doing!)

And most importantly: Was it enjoyable? Hell Yeah! In a day we had constructed and performed a fabulous little seasonal observance. And who doesn't like burning life-sized effigies!

So next Easter, if you're tired of the same old mis-matched practises, and you're from Terra Australis, try having an Autumn party and invite Bartle round to be your guest of honour! He may regret it, but you most certainly wont!
Bartle, Easter, paganism, pagan parenting, paganism in Australia, eclecticism, Reconstructionism, Celtic Reconstruction, Traditional paganism, Traditional craft, religion, effigies, outlaw, Guy Fawkes, November 5th, V for Vendetta, chocolate, alternative Easter practises, Autumn, autumn festivals, festivals, burning man, sacrificial deities, spirit of the harvest, John Barleycorn, wheat harvest, husks, Edmund Burke, "For evil to triumph, good men must do nothing", easter eggs, consumerism, social criticism, burning effigies, sacrificial deity, new years eve

An Absinthe Toast!

Wherein the virtues of a dubiously engaging individual are discussed at length.

Greetings all connoisseurs of our richly decentralized new-millennium culture!

Those who may have viewed an earlier post of mine would have had the delight of experiencing 'The Gallery of Public Hooting', perhaps even for the first time. Congratulations to those of you! What a delight that must have been. I know that for me, viewing mass public displays of condemnation is an enjoyable, if not somewhat arousing experience, so I do hope that it inspired a similar sensation with you as well. But it led me to consider that perhaps one ought not introduce 'the stick' as it were, without a corresponding 'carrot.'

May I introduce to you all: THE CARROT!

And I call our friend, this carrot: 'The Gallery of Absinthe Toasts for the Dubiously Gifted Personages Who Inspire Awe for Whatever Reason.' Or in short: 'The Gallery of Absinthe Toasts.' ...Indeed, I think you will never hear the earlier moniker stated ever again.

And I even have a new personage who must be brought to everyone's attention and praised with a toast of Absinthe, for peculiarities in his personality. His name is John Safran.

John Safran would not be know to most of you, as he is a minor celebrity in the colonies, deep in Terra Australis. But I like to think of him as 'The Thinking Man's Jackass.' And by Jackass I refer to that American team of people who became famous by doing phenomenally stupid and painful things to themselves in the spirit of mindless good humour. And it worked. They are now internationally successful and rich. -Meanwhile, we good citizens who did not have the presence of mind to have frozen oranges lobbed into our orifices at 100km's per hour for the public's amusement are still slogging it out at the grindstone and aching out a pitiful existence. But I digress!

John Safran, who is a sometimes Television presenter for ABC and SBS and a sometimes radio personality for Triple J in Terra Australis also does ridiculously painful and horrific things to himself. But they are hardly mindless or stupid. Indeed, he is motivated by one of the most profound aspects of humanity in general, that being Religion. John Safran is obsessed with religion. All religion. In fact, his radio partner, Father Bob Maguire claims that "For him [John Safran], religion is the heart of the cosmos..."But his curiosity regarding religion is very much coloured by his Australian sense of irreverent humour. With some truly stunning results.

In 1997 John Safran first came to the Australian public's attention by appearing as a contestant in a documentary making world travelling game show thing called Race Around the World. And in it, he came last due to a disqualification from filming a movie which road-tested confession booths in Rio De Janeiro. -Which unfortunately is actually illegal to put to air on Australian TV. From that point on John Safran later filmed a fabulous series called John Safran vs God, which explores religions from all around the world, with both an irreverent but intently curious manner.

And he is awe-inspiring in his audacity.

In it he explores Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Freemasonry, Asatru, Judaism, and Catholicism. But it is his stunts that match Jackass for their 'oh my god' factor, but with a whole new element of social satire and commentary that Jackass is gloriously and gratuitously devoid of.

For example:

He attends a voodoo ritual where a goat is sacrificed in Haiti.
He gets a fatwa put on fellow TV presenter Rove McManus by extremist Muslim Clerics in London.
He lifts a curse on the Australian Socceroos with the help of a Malawian Witch-doctor.
He is beaten by a Zen Buddhist monk.
He goes Atheist door-knocking in Salt-Lake City Utah.

But the two stunts that are truly frightening are:

He is interviewed by the Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan and asks if he can join even though he's Jewish because, in his words, 'he's whiter than Hitler'.
He is exorcised by fundamentalist Christian and Evangelist Bob Larson.

It is fair to say that he is the world's expert in world religious experiences.

And on Good Friday this year, he indeed went to a new extreme in order to film a story and/or make a gag. He got himself crucified in the Philippines. Two nails were driven into his pale Melbournite Jewish palms in order to 'aid his mother who is dying of cancer.' (she actually died from a heart attack six years ago.)

So to John Safran, extremist religious dabbler, crucifixion survivor, Jewish aspirant of the Ku Klux Klan and all round shit-stirrer, we raise a flaming glass of Absinthe to your good-health and your dubious claim of infamy!

John Safran, Race Around the World, Road Testing Confessionals, Voodoo, KKK, Ku Klux Klan, Asatru, Buddhism, Christianity, Fundamentalists, Fundamental Christianity, Crucifixion, Hindu, Triple J, ABC, SBS, John Safran vs God, Race Relations, Absinthe, Absinthe toasts, provocateurs, Mormons, exorcism, Bob Larson, Fatwa, Islam, Extremists, Muslims, Witch-doctors, occultism, The Philipines, Good Friday, Easter, deception